Christmas Ain’t Like it Used to Be

Originally published December 3, 2016.
Contains: accelerated weight gain, (consensual) aggressive encouraging.

From one holiday to another! Gaining stories involving Santa Claus aren’t anything new, but a lot of the ones I’ve read involve a pretty standard portrayal of Saint Nick, as regal and stately as he’s always portrayed to be. Then the idea came to me: what if you woke up in the middle of the night and found Santa Claus in your kitchen, standing in front of your refrigerator, drinking milk straight from the carton? From that image was born this story.

Synopsis: Todd wakes up in the middle of the night to find a middle-aged man in his kitchen claiming to be Santa Claus, though he tells Todd to call him Nick. After placating Todd with a bit of magic, Nick tells Todd that the lack of Christmas cheer in recent years has been making his job harder, in part by making him look less like Santa and more like an average person. Once Nick wins Todd over, Todd offers him some milk and cookies to try to give him back some of that Christmas cheer, and as a result, helps him look the part of Santa even more.

The scene where Todd meets Nick is basically one long reference to the Metatron’s introduction in Kevin Smith’s film Dogma. The descriptions of Nick’s magic are basically self-reference, drawing from the first Christmas-themed gaining story I ever wrote.

Todd lay in his bed with his eyes tightly closed, trying and failing to get some sleep before his next shift. He usually worked the night shift, but since hands were scarce during the holidays, he’d been scheduled to work a morning shift on Christmas day. He was usually working during these hours, not trying to fall asleep, and that made getting any sleep before his next shift seem like a pipe dream.

Perhaps it was because Todd was awake that he heard the commotion in his living room. Being that he lived alone, his nerves immediately went on red alert. He hopped out of bed, wearing only his boxers and a loose-fitting tee and not thinking to put on anything else, and crept out of his room to investigate. As he did, he grabbed the metal baseball bat he kept by the side of his bed in hopes that he would never have to use it.

Todd had put up an artificial Christmas tree in his living room that was about two feet tall. It came pre-decorated with a smattering of string lights and a few ornaments. It was a pretty sad sight overall, but he wanted something to help him get in the Christmas spirit. Unfortunately, it hadn’t done him much good on that front. Under the tree were a few presents that his closest friends and his parents had given him, which he’d kept wrapped to open on Christmas day. Perhaps it was his tiredness, but Todd swore there were a few more presents under the tree than he’d remembered being there when he went to bed.

As Todd pondered the mysteriously appearing presents, he heard his refrigerator door open and went on the defensive again. Holding the bat in front of him like a katana, as if it would do much good held that way, he tiptoed toward his kitchen and rounded the corner.

Todd found the intruder standing in front of his open refrigerator drinking milk straight from the jug. In the light of the fridge, Todd could see that he wore a red and green patterned button-down shirt that wrapped tightly around a wide, hefty belly, along with red pants and black boots. He looked to be on the younger side of middle-age, with a black beard hanging an inch or two off his face and his hair just starting to bald. For a home intruder who’d broken into someone’s house just for a drink of milk, he looked remarkably clean-cut.

Todd slowly reached toward the light switch and flicked it on, catching the intruder by surprise. With a squint, he looked toward Todd, before his eyelids slowly rose.

“Who are you and what the FUCK are you doing in my apartment?!”

“Is that the kind of greeting I get these days? Ugh, guess I can’t expect more from people who won’t even put out milk and cookies.”

“Look, bud, I don’t know who you are–”

“Nicholas. But just call me Nick. It’s more modern, I think–”

“Nor do I care. Get out of my apartment. NOW!”

“Or you’ll do what, exactly?” Nick asked with a confident laugh. “Hit me with that… candy cane?”

In Todd’s nervousness, he didn’t take his eyes off of Nick until his hands started to feel sticky. Looking down, he saw that his bat had somehow been replaced by a giant candy cane that was about a yard long and as thick as the handle of his weapon.

“You better not drop that. I’m not helping you clean it up if it shatters.”

Todd stared at the candy cane in disbelief before sticking it in the trash, not sure what else he could do with it. It certainly wouldn’t defend him against this intruder now.

“You might want to wash your hands too. Don’t want that stickiness getting everywhere.”

At Nick’s suggestion, Todd could only stare with mouth agape. “Who are you?” he asked, voice laden with more confusion that fear.

“I told you, I’m Nicholas. You know… Saint Nick?” Todd looked back just as blankly as before, making Nick roll his eyes. “I’m Santa Claus, Todd. God, I can’t believe people need it spelled out for them these days,” he grumbled as he turned back toward the fridge. “Used to be that they knew who I was as soon as they caught me.”

“Wait! Wait!” Nick turned back toward Todd with an annoyed look on his face. “You really expect me to believe you’re… Santa? Santa doesn’t exist!”

“What, turning your bat into a candy cane didn’t convince you? Or the extra presents under your tree? You know, you’ve been a good boy this year, Todd, but you are not making a good first impression here.”

“I… okay, fair point about the candy cane,” Todd admitted, looking back to the trash like he expected to see his bat having taken its original form again. But the comically large candy cane remained. With a sigh, Todd hobbled over to the sink and started washing his hands.

“There, see? Not so hard.”

“So… okay, if I accept that you’re Santa Claus… if I accept that… why are you raiding my fridge for milk? Don’t you get enough milk and cookies at people’s homes?”

“Used to,” Nick said dejectedly as he spun the cap on the jug and closed the refrigerator door. “Times are tough for a lot of people right now, and most of them aren’t leaving out milk and cookies for someone they don’t even believe in. It’s made my job harder, certainly.”

“Did it keep you going?” Todd asked, surprised at himself for buying into this Santa nonsense.

“It was more the encouragement. People’s Christmas spirit is really what keeps me going on Christmas Eve, and putting out milk and cookies is one way they expressed that. But times are hard, and people only think about Christmas as a time when they buy things for each other. And hey, presents are great–obviously I think so,” Nick said with a laugh, prompting a chuckle out of Todd. “But there’s more to Christmas than that. Way more. When that’s all people focus on, and they can’t deliver on that front like they used to… well, holiday spirit has been a scarce commodity these days.”

After looking back toward his fake Christmas tree, Todd turned sheepishly toward Nick and said, “Um… sorry I’m not doing more on that front. I know the tree’s not much, but–”

“Oh, Todd, you’re doing more than you realize. Even putting out a tree means you found the time to make your holiday a little more festive.”

“Yeah, but… I’m still working on Christmas.”

“And that way, someone else doesn’t have to. Still a spirit of giving.”

“I guess…“

“Truth be told, that’s why I decided to raid your fridge over anyone else’s. I thought you might be sympathetic.”

Todd found himself in a weird place, still not entirely believing this man was really Saint Nick, but starting to feel bad for him all the same. “So… is the image of Santa as an old man with white hair and a long beard just a myth?”

“For the longest time, no, it wasn’t. But with the holiday spirit harder to come by these days, I’m looking more and more like your average Joe.”

“Mmm. Admittedly, if you looked more like that image of Santa, I might’ve not been so… hostile.”

“Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot these days.”

“…A lot?”

“What, you think you’re the first person to catch me on the job?” Nick asked with a chuckle. “Usually, it’s kids who catch me, and they’re a lot easier to deal with. As soon as I tell them I’m Santa, they believe me and when they still believe in me, the magic of their belief helps me look the part. And if they make a commotion, I can put them right to sleep.”

“What? How?”

“Same way I turned your bat into a candy cane, Todd,” Nick answered with an amused smirk. “Magic.”

“So how come you didn’t put me right to sleep?”

“Eh, my magic ain’t like it used to be,” Nick admitted before taking a seat at Todd’s table. As he did, his ample belly spread forth over his red-clad legs. In spite of the lack of holiday spirit, he’d managed to keep that much of his fabled image. “Putting a kid to sleep is easy. Putting a grown-up to sleep? Especially one as riled up as you were? Not so easy.”

“But turning a baseball bat into a candy cane is?”

For the first time that night, Nick let out a laugh that sounded truly jolly. It wasn’t quite a, “Ho ho ho”, but it had the larger than life presence Todd would have expected the real Santa Claus to have. “My boy, using my magic to make things more festive is second nature.”

“Hmm… then, could you… possibly spruce up my tree a bit? Just to make it look a bit more… put together?”

“I don’t see why not,” Nick said before getting up to walk toward the living room. “It’s the least I could do after raiding your fridge.” Nick walked with a sprightliness in his step, his arms bent upward as he swung them at his sides. As he got close, Todd couldn’t help but take a peek down at his belly, bouncing gently as he walked. That much, at least, was still in-character.

Once Nick reached the threshold of the living room, he raised his right hand and pointed his finger toward the tree. A stream of golden sparks shot from the tip of his finger, spiraling around it like a continuous string of lights. Once they settled into place, they slowly dissipated, leaving behind a tree more dense with branches and with many more lights and ornaments. The plain white lights had been replaced with red and green bulbs, and the ornaments were much more varied in size and color than they had been before. Though the tree didn’t seem to have grown, all the added decoration and foliage made it look taller than two feet.

With his eyelids as wide apart as they could reasonably separate, Todd gaped at the tree before looking back at Nick. “You… you really are…“ There was a warmth in Nick’s eyes as he nodded, seeming content in his assuredness that Todd really believed it was him. “Well–wait, then what are you still doing in my apartment? Don’t you have, like, a billion houses to visit?”

“You’ll be happy to know time doesn’t pass for me quite the same way it does for someone like you. I’ll be making many extended visits to other houses, I’m sure, and I’ll still have time to visit all of them.”

“Ah… well, since you’re here… Can I get you a glass of milk?”

“That would be lovely, Todd. Thank you,” Nick answered, voice full of genuine appreciation.

Todd reached for one of his cabinets and pulled out a tall glass, before pulling the milk out of the fridge and pouring it in. Meanwhile, Nick walked back toward Todd and turned one of the chairs away from the table, taking a seat where he could look in Todd’s direction. Todd put the glass of milk down on the table next to Nick, who gave him an appreciative nod and picked it up to take a sip.

As Todd put the milk away, he noticed a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough in the back of his fridge, an impulse buy he’d made about a week prior. Todd didn’t know the first thing about baking, but with the dough already made, he figured he could do a decent job baking some cookies for Nick. “Hey, I have some cookie dough in here that I could bake into cookies. Would, uh… would that help restore the holiday spirit?”

A smile spread across Nick’s face before he took another sip of milk, this time leaving a milk mustache covering the bottom of his actual mustache. “That sounds wonderful, Todd.”

Todd spent the next few minutes following the instructions on the cookie dough package, preheating the oven and spooning the dough onto a baking sheet. He didn’t make much conversation with Nick, focusing on using his meager baking skills to make sure the cookies came out okay. He spooned twelve balls of dough on the tray, spacing them out as carefully as he could, before putting the tray in the oven.

Once the cookies were baking, Todd turned around to see an empty glass on the table. “Can I get you some more milk?”

“Perhaps when the cookies come out. There’s no rush now,” Nick assured Todd, his voice having taken on a slightly deeper tone. As Todd looked at Nick, he observed that Nick’s beard had grown nearly an inch, with patches near the bottom having taken on a whiter hue.

Looking farther down, Todd saw the buttons on Nick’s shirt straining to hold his belly in. He was sure the shirt had fit Nick comfortably previously, so seeing the cloth form creases around the buttons as the flaps billowed out in between gave him pause. But he looked away as soon as he caught himself leering, not wanting to make Nick feel uncomfortable.

Between knowing he was talking to the real Santa Claus and trying to avert his gaze from Nick’s strained shirt, Todd had a hard time making conversation as the cookies baked. He tried to make small talk asking Nick about what it was like to be Santa Claus, though he felt like all his questions had to be so trite for Nick, like he must get the same exact questions every time someone catches him. But Nick showed endless patience for Todd’s inquiries, giving each question its due diligence.

Todd still felt tense enough that when the oven timer went off, he nearly jumped. He opened the oven door, only to realize he didn’t have any oven mitts handy. Using a dish towel, he pulled the sheet out and laid it on top of the stove. “Gotta let them cool first, you know?”

“Of course.”

“Can I refill your milk?”


Once the cookies had cooled to an edible temperature, Todd grabbed a spatula and stacked them on a plate. “Here you go,” he said as he approached Nick. “Sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“Todd, Todd, don’t disparage your own hospitality.” With a grin, Nick took one of the cookies off of the plate and took a bite. His eyebrows shot up as he chewed and he nodded. “These are great!” he exclaimed. “See? You had nothing to worry about.”

Nick gobbled up the first cookie enthusiastically, chasing it with a sip of milk before he reached for another one. The second cookie disappeared just as quickly, as Nick muttered “Mmm” with every bite. He took more time with the third and fourth cookies, dipping them in the milk and savoring each bite.

It was when Nick finished the fourth cookie that Todd heard the first rip, followed by the sound of something plastic skittering across his kitchen floor. Looking down, he saw that a button had popped off of Nick’s shirt, revealing a peek at his pale belly. “Ho ho!” Nick said with a jolt, “Thar she blows!” he shouted, sounding quite pleased with himself. “These really are some great cookies, Todd. And you were apologizing for not ‘doing more’,” Nick chuckled before taking another sip of milk. “I trust this won’t bother you?” Nick asked while pointing to his exposed patch of belly, sounding assured in the knowledge that Todd wouldn’t mind.

“Wha– well, no, but… are you okay? You’re not allergic, are you?”

“Oh, I’m better than okay, Todd. You really know how to make an old saint feel the holiday spirit,” Nick boomed. His voice sounded more full-bodied than it did before, matching his newly expanded frame. Once Todd could take his eyes off of Nick’s belly, he noticed that Nick’s beard seemed to have come in more fully, long enough that it was starting to look wavy. The white patches on the bottom had spread to white out entire swaths of his facial hair. His head hair, too, had taken on a greyer tone, while his hairline had crept back a bit farther, rounding out his rounder face.

Todd’s observations of Nick’s changes were interrupted by Nick picking up another cookie and taking a big bite out of it. He ate with a renewed vigor, chasing each bite of the cookies with a sip of milk and thus gobbling them down even faster. A part of Todd wondered why Nick was in such a rush to finish the cookies, but as long as he got to watch, he didn’t much care. It was a mesmerizing sight, watching this hefty man in his kitchen chair wolf down the cookies so greedily.

Todd was so hypnotized by Nick’s eating that he kept staring until, with eight cookies down and four to go, several more buttons popped off of Nick’s shirt. Now his ample belly hung out in plain view, a smattering of body hair adorning the space around his belly button before trailing up toward his chest. “Ah, that’s more like it,” Nick sighed with relief. “That was getting tight.”

“Maybe you should, uh, undo those other buttons too… You’ll, uh, probably feel more comfortable that way,” Todd suggested, trying to be coy but suspecting he was coming across sheepishly more than anything else.

“If you don’t mind…” Nick said, his voice sounding grander and having a newfound presence. Todd felt his heart beat faster as Nick casually unbuttoned the remaining buttons of his shirt. He started from where it had popped open and moved upwards, before undoing the remaining button at the bottom.

Once the last button had been undone, Nick sat back in his chair and let his bare, plump gut hang out. It had grown significantly since Nick sat down, spreading like his bag of presents over his legs. The smattering of body hair around his belly button tapered off to a trail that rounded the top of his gut up to his chest, which now stuck out with its own corpulence over his rotund belly.

“So much for sitting in Santa’s lap,” Todd mumbled to himself more loudly than he intended to.

“Well, not with that attitude, certainly,” Nick chuckled.

“What?” Todd’s eyelids shot apart as he looked Nick’s way, mortified at the idea that he might have been heard.

“But you’re welcome to try. You can even sit facing me.”


As Nick shook his head side to side, his chuckle boomed out in the way Todd would have expected of a full-blown belly laugh. With a smirk, Nick looked over his glasses as he stared at Todd. “You think someone who knows if you’ve been bad or good or the good kind of bad isn’t going to know what you like? Why, knowing what good little boys like is my specialty.” As Nick boasted, he scooted back in his chair to lean back and let his belly jut out even farther. It looked like there wouldn’t be enough space for Todd to sit on Nick’s lap unless he sat facing him.

It all seemed unbelievable, but if Nick had suggested it, maybe it wasn’t so far-fetched after all. With an awkward shuffle, Todd approached Nick and straddled his lanky legs over Nick’s lap, sitting on his knees. Todd couldn’t look at Nick directly at first, but when he did, Nick looked back at him with warm eyes. Unlike many a mall Santa with fake beards that hid half their face, Nick’s soft smile showed through from within his whitened facial hair.

“Have you been a good boy this year, Todd?”

“I… I think I have.”

“Good, good,” Nick replied with genuine delight. “And what would you like for Christmas?”

Todd could scarcely keep his eyes on Nick’s face, constantly peeking down at the rotund belly he now straddled. After a quick, nervous inhalation, he blurted out, “To rub your belly as you finish off those cookies.”

Nick let out a chuckle, this one deeper than the previous, not quite so jolly and instead more mischievous. His warm eyes closed halfway and his smile curled into a smirk. “I think you can get your wish this Christmas.”

At once, Nick’s hesitation vanished as a smile spread across his face to match Nick’s. With a look of glee, he grabbed one of the cookies and shoved it into Nick’s eager mouth. Nick groaned as he scarfed up the cookie, moaning as he chewed once Todd had gotten the whole thing in Nick’s mouth. With both of Todd’s hands free, he licked the crumbs off of his fingers before he dropped them to Nick’s belly.

The famed bowl of jelly line accurately described how Nick’s gut felt in Todd’s hands. It was soft and mailable, giving in easily to his touch, whether gentle or rough. After running his hands curiously across the expanse of Nick’s belly, Todd pushed his hands more roughly into Nick’s stomach. Though Nick’s heft gave in easily to Todd’s touch, the mass itself had a lot more inertia, refusing to be moved from in front of Todd.

As Todd rubbed Nick’s belly, Nick wavered back and forth in his chair as far as he could with the little space he had after sitting up straight. His chest and shoulders moved with Todd’s rubs as his head leaned back and forth, eyelids closing as Todd worked his gut. His mouth hung agape as he chewed, evidence of the lethargy that made his arms lay limp at his sides.

When Todd grew impatient with how long Nick was taking to chew the cookie, he grabbed the glass of milk and brought it to Nick’s mouth so he could take a sip. “How about something to wash that down?” Todd asked, his aggressive tone betraying that it wasn’t up for debate. Fortunately for him, Nick was more than willing to take a drink, and the cookie went down quickly. After he swallowed, Nick’s mouth hung open with a gasp and heavy breathing, only to be immediately filled with another cookie.

The night continued that way, with Todd helping Nick make the last few cookies disappear even faster. As Nick ate the second-to-last cookie, Todd could feel his perch on Nick’s lap growing more tenuous. But this just emboldened Todd. With as laugh that resembled a growl, he ground his hips into Nick’s belly, scooching his butt as close to Nick as he could to maintain his perch. In turn, Nick groaned even more loudly, synchronized with Todd’s grinding into his gut.

As the last cookie disappeared down Nick’s eager gullet, Todd found himself pushed precariously close to the edge of Nick’s knees and unable to push himself in any closer. He felt a throbbing in his boxers as he pulled his legs back and centered his weight on his feet again. But he kept his groin again Nick’s belly, pushing his hips against Nick’s gut and wedging his hard-on between his own hips and Nick’s warm, soft flab. Even Nick seemed to be into it, as he let out a hearty, bellowing “ooh” before Todd put the glass of milk against his lips and made him finish it.

When the glass and plate were both empty, Todd gave Nick’s swollen gut a few proud pats before he stood up and stepped back. Nick was now slumped over in his chair, having slid forward as he leaned his head back, obscuring Todd’s view of the completely bald top of his head. His mouth lay open as he breathed heavily, flanked by milk stains and cookie crumbs that had gotten caught in his beard. His beard itself was now completely white and had grown to at least eight inches long, long enough to drape down past his neck and over his chest.

As Todd followed Nick’s beard down, his eyes landed on his bulging belly, which had now overtaken his thighs and left Todd no hope of having enough room to sit on Nick’s lap. It had retained its rounded shape, having grown outward and upwards in addition to forwards. His body hair seemed to be more dispersed as it covered his swollen expanse. There was no chance of Nick’s shirt fitting around him now.

As Nick sat panting in his chair, Todd’s mad fervor dissipated into a mix of amazement and embarrassment at the scene that had just played out in his kitchen. As Nick’s head still hung over the back of the chair, Todd asked, “Um… need, uh… need any help getting up?”

Nick jerked his head forward before standing up without any trouble at all. As he did, he let out the laugh that Todd had been waiting for the whole night: “Ho ho ho ho! Oh, Todd, it’s no trouble at all.” After brushing the crumbs off his beard, Nick looked up at Todd, his warm, crinkly eyes looking out over chubby cheeks as his smile shone through unmistakably from under his beard. His gut, still a globe of girth far wider than it was as the start of the night, protruded out bare over his red pants, flanked by the defeated shirt. “Thank you for your hospitality,” his voice boomed in exactly the rich, deep tone Todd would have expected from Father Christmas himself. “That should be enough goodwill to keep me going for quite a few houses!”

“Oh good! But, uh… do you need some new clothes first?”

With a chuckle that filled the room, Nick sent streams of golden sparks out from the tips of his fingers that surrounded him in a curtain of light. They shone so brightly that Todd had to cover his eyes until he heard the tinkling sound stop. When he did, he looked up to see Nick wearing a plush red coat over a button-down shirt with the same green-and-red pattern as the one he’d worn before. This one, however, fit comfortably over his new heft. As he closed his coat and wrapped his giant black belt around it, he looked up at Todd and told him, “I’ll be quite fine, thank you.”

Todd looked back with his eyes wide open, but his eyes soon relaxed as he smiled back at Nick. At this point, he knew that Nick magically changing his outfit wasn’t the kind of thing he should have been surprised by.

“Now, as I recall, someone has to be at work in the morning. I do believe it’s past your bedtime, young man,” Nick teased as he raised his hand toward Todd.

“Wait!” Todd pleased. “Will… Will I remember this in the morning? I’d kinda… like to, you know?”

“Hmm… Well, my magic certainly won’t make you forget, but it can’t ensure you won’t convince yourself this was all a dream. And if you file it away as a dream, you’ll forget it along with your others.” Nick put a gloved hand against his chin as he gave the matter some thought, before his mouth spread into a smile. “I think I know how to help you remember,” he said before he shot a stream of gold sparks at Todd. It was the last thing Todd was aware of before everything went black.

Todd woke up in his kitchen chair, hearing the obnoxious tones of his alarm clock across the apartment. He hadn’t sleepwalked in a while, and he supposed sleeping at a time he didn’t usually had made it happen again. With a groan, he rose from his seat and bounded across the kitchen and the living room to turn his alarm clock off. Once the alarm was silent, he groggily walked back to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast before he had to go to work.

As Todd walked through his living room, he smiled mildly at his tree, happy he’d put more effort into it than he did in previous years. Even though he had to work that morning, seeing the tree decorated so nicely made waking up a little bit easier.

But something under the tree caught Todd’s eye: a long, skinny present in the shape of a crook. He didn’t remember putting that under there. He’d planned on waiting until he got home to open the presents his friends and family had given him, but the strangely shaped one made him too curious. After failing to find a “to-from” label on it, he pulled the ribbons off and unwrapped it, finding a yard-long candy cane.

“Hilarious, guys,” Tod remarked sarcastically. “I don’t even like peppermint. Who–”

Todd paused as flashes of the previous night started coming back to him. Looking down at the tree, he recognized the other presents he hadn’t put under it. He ran back into his bedroom to look where he kept his baseball bat; it was missing. He ran into the kitchen and saw a dirty cookie sheet on the counter. On the table, he saw a glass with a bit of milk on the bottom, and a plate with crumbs on it.

It all seemed unbelievable. And yet, Todd knew it wasn’t as far-fetched as it seemed. Looking down at the preposterously-proportioned sweet in his hands, he tapped the curved end against his left hand pensively like an actual baseball bat. After letting it come to rest in his palm, he wrapped his fingers around the minty treat and smiled. Nick had even had the courtesy to wrap it in plastic before leaving it as a reminder of the night before. Not that Todd would have expected any less from Santa Claus himself.

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